{"product_id":"patience-sold-separately-1","title":"Patience Sold Separately","description":"Patience Sold Separately. 🍊🍍🍑🍹\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nOrange • Tropical Punch • Pineapple • Peach\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nYou tried being patient.\u003cbr\u003e\nIt didn’t stick.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nPatience Sold Separately. is bright, fruity, and just chaotic enough to get you through whatever is testing your last nerve today.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n🍊 Orange brings a bold, citrusy kick\u003cbr\u003e\n🍹 Tropical punch adds that juicy, high-energy sweetness\u003cbr\u003e\n🍍 Pineapple keeps it fresh and vibrant\u003cbr\u003e\n🍑 Peach smooths it out with a mellow finish\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nIt’s giving:\u003cbr\u003e\n“I’m doing my best… but my best has limits.”\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n📏 Choose Your Size\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n💧 Water Bottle Size (7g)\u003cbr\u003e\nHolding it together… barely.\u003cbr\u003e\nDesigned to mix into a 16.9 oz water bottle for a lighter, refreshing tea.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n✨ Tumbler Size (12g)\u003cbr\u003e\nFull-strength coping mechanism.\u003cbr\u003e\nDesigned to mix into a 30+ oz tumbler for a full-day, full-chaos situation.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n🧋 Mixing Instructions: Tumbler (12G)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Dissolve packet in 4–6 oz warm water\u003cbr\u003e\n• Add cold water + ice to reach desired size\u003cbr\u003e\n• Shake, sip, and proceed with caution\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n⚡ Caffeine Info:\u003cbr\u003e\n Patience Sold Separately contains approximately 140 of caffeine.  This tea contains caffeine from green tea extract powder and caffeine anhydrous.  It also contains about 8 calories and 4 carbs per packet.  This mix contains Calcium, Potassium, Niacin, Vitamin B6, Folic Acid, Pantothenic Acid, and Magnesium (12 gram size).  Also available in half caffeinated and decaffeinated options.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n💥 Optional Power Ups:\u003cbr\u003e\nCustomize your chaos with add-ins that may support energy, focus, gut health, and more\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n🖤 The Chaotic Fine Print:\u003cbr\u003e\n• Sugar-free (sweetened with stevia and\/or sucralose)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Made in small, handmade batches\u003cbr\u003e\n• Not medical advice — these statements have not been evaluated by the FDA\u003cbr\u003e\n• Please enjoy responsibly (we recommend no more than 1–2 fully caffeinated teas per day)\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nBecause patience isn’t always included… but caffeine helps.","brand":"Etsy","offers":[{"title":"Fully Caffeinated \/ Water Bottle- 7G","offer_id":50284848316583,"sku":"ET-31744039404","price":2.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fully Caffeinated \/ Tumbler- 12G","offer_id":50284848349351,"sku":"ET-31435039281","price":3.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Half Caffeinated \/ Water Bottle- 7G","offer_id":50284848382119,"sku":"ET-31744039402","price":2.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Half Caffeinated \/ Tumbler- 12G","offer_id":50284848414887,"sku":"ET-31435039279","price":3.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Decaffeinated \/ Water Bottle- 7G","offer_id":50284848447655,"sku":"ET-31435039277","price":2.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Decaffeinated \/ Tumbler- 12G","offer_id":50284848480423,"sku":"ET-31744039398","price":3.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/0562\/6535\/files\/il_fullxfull.8090428607_6530.jpg?v=1779720499","url":"https:\/\/chronically-chaotic-tea-company.myshopify.com\/products\/patience-sold-separately-1","provider":"Chronically Chaotic Tea Company","version":"1.0","type":"link"}